Emergency

It is something no living eyes have ever seen. M (also known as Dr. T, praise be unto him and his seed) is on a hunt.

He approaches quietly from downwind, keeping himself in the shadows, where his inky coat blends his form with the darkness. His gaze is locked, his muscles taut. In the blink of an eye, he pounces on his unsuspecting prey. The shock paralyzes the hunted, who by now can only manage feeble involuntary spasms. M holds steady. The label hangs limp as he quickly drains the life out of the woolly floormat and carries it in his fangs.

His eyes blaze with pride. The doormat is no more. Praise be to the liberator!!


Uh-oh.. here comes the stupid tall biped. damn! who starched his underwear? God save me from these ignorant ingrates!

poverty

M (also known as Dr. T, praise be unto him and his tail) is content. His memory equity is high. His thoughts from before the golden age are today worth a large fortune. He taunts his Insignificant Aide (also known as Ia, curses unto her and her ears).

M: "What are your thoughts worth? eh? What are they worth? hm? Tell me, you spineless worm! What is the value of memories?"

Ia is oblivious to the world around her. She continues rolling around on the carpet, playing furiously with the virgin white iPod cable. The evening sun shines across the February sky, lighting the dust in the air into a million tiny sparks as they rise from the carpet and from Ia's glossy coat. For her, nothing exists. She is in heaven, with sunlight on her tummy and a toy in her hands.

M: "Harrrummphh!! you two-pence whore! What would you know about the value of memories. I bet you don't know your equities from your assets."

Ia chews at the iPod cable. The music never stops. The sun never sets.

black hood

Warm brownies do not wait for black hooded cars, neither in Burlingame, nor in Berkeley.

"What the f*** have I been smoking?"

Super cup

M (also known as Dr. T, praise be unto him and his seed) switches on his new five-hundred and seven inch super high definition plasma laser blue ray 1080081i television hooked up to a receiver the size of a furnace, with speakers hanging from every single corner of the windowless room and a sub-woofer that turns the couch into a massage chair, to watch a five foot tall bundle of talent, formerly known as [[unprintable unicode character]] sing old songs to show off his solid vocals to a large crowd in the middle of a thunderstorm.

Afterwards, M watches some very funny programming interspersed with conversations between large men in fancy suits, heavy makeup, and some with garish ties. The men furiously over-analyze a sporting event with the firm belief that reckless and incessant usage of jargon combined with forceful, spit-shower talking will justify their disproportionately large paychecks.

There are heart warming tales told by teary-eyed mothers of their underprivileged kids who have overcome supreme obstacles and unbelievable odds to save the world on this, the holiest of holy days.

Also shown are some scenes of football, played in a Florida downpour.

M's Insignificant Aide (Ia, curses unto her and her ignorant lot) ventures a hesitant question, after waiting long for the right moment: "What is this super cup XLI sire?"

M's grip on the remote tightens instinctively. He turns around and glares at Ia with his glowing eyes.

Ia is atomized in an instant.