Saturday, May 23, 2009

The Wisdom of the Universe: Part 1 : Poverty


This is part 1 of "The Wisdom of the Universe", translated to the tongue of men, as told by M--also known as Dr. T--praise be to him and his immortal soul, to his Insignificant Aide (wretched curses from the depths of burning hell unto her and her inbred lot).

M looks out into the brilliant blue California sky.

M: "Poverty."

I: "Pardon me, sire?"

M: "Poverty, you deaf sloth! Poverty!"

I: " Yes sire, poverty. What about poverty, sire?"

M: " Have you ever pondered the source of poverty, you worm?"

I: "No, exalted one. Such intellectual pursuits are beyond my reach."

M: "As I suspected. Anyway, I have."

I: "You have what, sire?"

M: "Pondered about poverty, pea-brain!"

I: "Oh. I see!"

M: " It is the lifestyle of choice of all poor people. They seem to love it. "

I: " Yes, sire, quite strange that they do."

M: " We must outlaw it. At once!"

I: "I think that might be a tad harsh, my master. Poverty might not be a choice that people make"

M: "Where did you learn to speak so many words at once, you two-pence whore!. Shut up and outlaw it. At once!"

I: "As you wish, sire."

M: "It is hereby declared that choosing to be poor is illegal in this land. So is choosing to be a homosexual, a polygamist, a left-handed person, or a sqat-pooper. Furthermore, no Mustard on Tuesdays. I've had enough."

I: "It is done, sire"

All hail M. His will be done.

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