There was once a beautiful young princess in a faraway land. Her chocolate skin and dark, flowing hair had many in awe. She pretended that she was lucky to be that way, and all the people envied her for being so lucky. Very few knew that the princess had to spend long, tiring hours keeping up her good looks. But she could not tell them that she worked hard for her looks. When she had tried saying that, it made the people mad, it made them sad, it made them panic. She once again convinced all the people that she was fortunate to be very pretty and that the good looks just came to her. Then, one warm, humid summer night, when the stars had stopped twinkling, and all the people were sleeping peacefully, the princess downed a bottle of blended scotch and drowned in the lake, even though she knew to swim.
Moral of the story: Blended scotch is cheap, but tastes horrible.