Friday, April 23, 2004

What goes around....

There was once a beautiful young princess in a faraway land. Her chocolate skin and dark, flowing hair had many in awe. She pretended that she was lucky to be that way, and all the people envied her for being so lucky. Very few knew that the princess had to spend long, tiring hours keeping up her good looks. But she could not tell them that she worked hard for her looks. When she had tried saying that, it made the people mad, it made them sad, it made them panic. She once again convinced all the people that she was fortunate to be very pretty and that the good looks just came to her. Then, one warm, humid summer night, when the stars had stopped twinkling, and all the people were sleeping peacefully, the princess downed a bottle of blended scotch and drowned in the lake, even though she knew to swim.
Moral of the story: Blended scotch is cheap, but tastes horrible.

Sunday, April 18, 2004

On the Double

A tall man lived with his old, frail grandmother in a small, dingy apartment that had peeling paint on some walls, no paint on others, and some walls with gaping holes showing the plumbing and electrical work running up and down the beams inside the walls. Sometimes, one could even catch a quick glimpse of large, ferocious looking, diseased rats running on these pipes. The tall man was so tall that he had to bend down to enter his own apartment. One evening, when the man returned home from a hard days work at his accounting firm, his grandmother was dead and a large rat was nibbling on her toes. The man flung his briefcase at the rat, which shouted a loud squeak and ran away into the depths of the infinite pipes in the wall. As the man stood next to his grandmothers body, deciding what to do next, a horde of savage rats came out of the wall and ate him clean to the bone.

Moral of the story: Everybody's grandmother passes away someday.

Saturday, April 17, 2004

Comes around

There was once a little girl who lived with her brother and her father. She had no mother. Her brother was not the nicest brother around, and would beat her up all the time. One day, the little girl complained to her father about it. The father soon had a guest house built on their mansion's lawns and moved into the guest house. He never set foot in his old house again.

Moral of the story:Aviation fuel has higher octane than regular unleaded gasoline.