Declawed in the name of preservation

M (Also known as Dr.T, a thousand praises be unto him) dreams of lumped crabmeat and breaded pork tenderloins with a mushroom reduction. His whiskers twitch, and his paws shudder.

His insignificant aide (Ia, a hundred thousand curses unto him and his wretched lot), however, is lost. Ia sits at the window, mesmerized by the bright and colorful world outside. Although the courtyard seems to be a sight straight from heaven, Ia knows he will not survive a day in its confines.

As M concludes his dream with a piece of burnt almond cake and some chilled muscat, sweet as honey, Ia wakes him up.

Ia:" Shall we go out and play, O defender of the faith?"

M: "mmmmm... huh? What the f***!!? What in the name of the lord our dear God have you been smoking now, you moron?!!"

Ia: "Shall we go outside, great leader of the free world?"

M: "Lets wait for the tall biped. He usually opens the door in the evenings. Get his ankles, I'll go for his throat. Once we have him wedged between the door, we are free!!"

Ia: "Genius, my lord!"

Ia bows deep.

M:" Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a piece of burnt almond cake to finish."

M goes back to sleep. Ia waits for the tall biped.